My Answers to the Most Controversial Questions Ever

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    The internet is stuffed to the brim with many unanswerable questions. Is water wet? Does pineapple belong on pizza? Should you pour milk, or cereal first? Today, I, some anonymous writer on the internet, will throw my opinion into the ring and deliver my answers to these unanswerable questions.

    So first off, do I pour milk or cereal first? Now, I may be in the minority with this, but I pour milk first. Not because I think it's better or anything, but because its just a habit I have. I don't even see why it matters, to be honest. Cereal firsters claim that pouring cereal first keeps the cereal crunchy for longer, but hosing the cereal down with milk is gonna make it soggy just as quickly as dropping it in a milky swimming pool.  All in all, I just don't really see the point with this debate.

    Next off, I believe that pineapple on pizza, is fine. I wouldn't order it if it was on the menu, but I'd eat it if it was there. Plenty of savory things have been paired with sweet things before, so I don't get why putting pineapple and pizza together is such a sin against food. Besides, a LOT worse things have been put on pizza.

    Our next debate for today is:


    I personally believe that a dog would wear pants like in the first image. Pants are supposed to cover your legs, not just your butt. If you asked how a dog would wear shoes, the answer would be unanimous*. Everyone would say that they'd wear them on all of their feet, to cover them, so why make an exception for pants?

    For the last, and most anticipated* debate of them all,  I believe that water is wet. Here's my argument. Ice cubes are considered water. If you dip ice cubes in a glass of water, they would be considered wet, or at least more wet than an ice cube fresh out of the freezer. Some people may argue that water is not wet itself, and that it only makes other things wet. To that, I say that fire can set other things on fire, but I wouldn't argue that fire is not on fire.  Now, I have one last question for you "water is not wet"-ers, and that is, at what point does can water become wet? That's right, i'm pulling out the slippery slope argument. Could saltwater be considered wet? If not, how about chicken soup. These things aren't 100% water, so could these be considered wet? Or does there have to be more? What is the threshold? 

*probably not unanimous, because internet
*i cannot measure your anticipation, so please do not steal my thalamus if you are not at peak anticipation by the time you read the sentence

    Anyways, that's enough pointless arguments for today. See you next blog, whenever that happens.

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